blueswoman’s blues

    5 am na ako nakatulog. Hirap talaga bumuwelo…

    I just reunited with my guitar last night.  It helps to do something creative when you can’t think of something creative.

    Meron akong isang envelope ng songs.  Ang label sa labas ay "Songs - pop."  Gutay-gutay yung iba, typewritten yung iba. Sulat-kamay yung iba. Makikita mo yung evolution ng handwriting ko from my high school careful-not-to-be-told-i-have-an-ugly-penmanship kind of handwriting to the wala-akong-paki variety.  Then I also had pop songs that were copied by friends from college, and songs typewritten on stationeries (probably perfumed at the time, and God forbid I made them in high school… probably in elementary, or early part of high school), and others that were printed out on dot matrix printers.  There was a whole history in that envelope.

    But even I was amazed at the wide range of songs that I liked to sing in the early days.  Nakakahiya ngang aminin yung iba e.  Pero from the beautifully deep "Pride Parade" by Don McLean and tongue-in-cheek "Logical Song" (Supertramp) to the broadway songs of "Les Miserables" and "The World According to Snoopy" to the pop tunes of Madonna.  I also had some songs by Gordon Lightfoot and Peter, Paul and Mary.  Standard songs (like "Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered") were there too. And I would always sing my personal anthem "Both Sides Now," "Anticipation" (Carly Simon) and "Tapestry" (Carole King). Andoon din ang "Kabilugan ng Buwan," atsaka yung isang kanta na "Tag-ulan" (gosh, who sang that? maganda yun e).  I also had some obscure songs written on pad papers and transcribed from tape cassettes.  Ang latest addition na lang ay yung mga kanta ng U2, Pretenders, Heart and Aimee Mann.  I guess I stopped playing the guitar somewhere there.

    Funny how songs can reflect the tapestry of one’s life, or maybe of one’s personality.  I always thought that people didn’t have just one side. We’re not just three-dimensional, we’re so multi-faceted and we can only show one side of ourselves sometimes with certain people.

    My high school friends (who I love dearly) don’t really know or would not probably come with me when I go to NU rock awards or gigs in Xaymaca or SaGuijo.  They don’t know I could tolerate (or even scream with) System of a Down. Some of them think I enjoy show bands or jazz (the David Benoit type). And they surely don’t see my envelope of "progressive" (radical/revolutionary) songs either. (Hindi sa impostor ako, talagang I value their company so I learned to be polite, hehehe.)

    I was always frustrated about playing "Summertime" on the guitar while singing it.  (Oo nga pala, nawala na yung kapo ko. kainis.)  Frustration ko talaga ang makatugtog ng blues.  Ewan ko ba pero bata pa lang ako, mahilig na talaga ako sa blues and rock.  Noong panahong nakikinig kami ng parents ko ng "Sound of Music" habang naglalaro ng scrabble, inaabangan ko rin sa radyo ang "Hello, I Love You" ng The Doors. haha!

    But I remember watching films that showed Africans who were brought to America as slaves. And in those old films, they always sang the blues. And I think that’s how I developed my love for the blues, the Mississippi blues and all that.  Plus I always thought I had an affinity for people who struggled because of their color.  (Sabi ng isang past life reader isa sa past lives ko ay African mother of many children.)

    Kaya kanina noong nakaamoy ako ng parang may nasusunog, ang unang pumasok sa isip ko ay i-save ang photo albums ko at ang CDs ko ng blues.  Later ko na naisip yung mga damit.

    I love the blues… how I wish I could have the time to master it, read more about it, and really learn it on the guitar. But I don’t believe I can REALLY sing it. A blues artist has to feel her music from the gut, and not just mouth the lyrics.

    Ang haba na nito.  kung saan-saan na nakarating.  Ayan, 3:00pm na. kailangan ko na talagang magsulat (i.e.,
magtrabaho)!!!!!

after visiting a friend who got a stray cat for a pet and named it Kitty (tinatamad raw siyang mag-isip ng pangalan), I got to think about possible names for a pet cat. Nga pala, may kaibigan din akong pinagalang Attorney ang pet cat nila, at yung isa naman bininyagang Kitty ang pet dog nila.  Oh such wonderful friends I have!

So here goes…

If I had a cat, I’d name it Puddy, in honor of Tweety the Bird who always says, "I tot I taw a puddy dat."
If I had a cat, I’d name it Hercules, or Ulysses or Homer. Most likely Homer, in honor of the Simpsons patriarch
"D’oh!"
Or better yet, I’d probably call the cat Mr. Burns instead.
Or maybe Mr. Bean.
Or maybe I’d call it Mingaw, not because I’m going to miss it, but because it just sounds like a cat’s meow.
If I had a cat I’d name it Bratinella, not only because there’s a "rat" in Bratinella, but more because there’s a "brat" in that "inella."
Oh well, I’d probably call it a Diva, a Chenes or Chorva for all its attitude of feeling like a prima donna.
If I had a cat I’d call it Smelly shit, squirt (coz I shoot cats with water using squirting gun) and pepper (for pouring freshly boiled hot chili peppers on the ground they sit on),
If I had a cat, but then…
I don’t.

and I’m glad.

(pardon to all my cat-loving friends. peace!)

I just found out we finally have Camera Cafe (Philippines) excerpts on youtube! Maririnig nga lang ang tawanan kasi kinunan lang ang mga yun sa presscon… so baka marinig nyo ang tawa ko hehehe.

eto ang tags:  CAMERA CAFE PHILS
O kaya Philippines o kaya QTV

tapos tingnan nyo na rin ang Camera Cafe from Spain, ITaly, etc.

watch CAMERA CAFE on QTV
mondays to fridays
8 pm, 10 am, 1:45 pm

    I’ve just seen a film that made me weep, not because it’s a weepy movie
(the way that chick flicks like "Beaches" made women friends cry), but
because it was so beautifully done that it made me weep.  Beautiful
music affects me in the same way, as if it fills my soul and heightens
my passion for art.  This film truly filled me to the brim. 

    I’m
referring to "Lives of Others."  I didn’t want to write the synopsis
because I want to stay with this feeling… but anyway, it is about a
national security agent in East Germany who was made to conduct
surveillance on a playwright, an artist who is considered right-wing (a
liberal or leaning toward the West).  But his wiretapping activities
transformed him and reversed him — not in a grand dramatic way. As he
listened into the life of this artist and his actress-wife, he too
consumed the art that they created, vicariously lived the passion they
felt for each other and for their art and secretly aligned himself with
their beliefs.  From being a hard-core socialist who saw betrayal in
any artist who leaned toward the West, to a compassionate man (yet
outwardly cold and restrained) who risked his career to save what
remains of the artists’ restricted lives. 

    If the filmmaker
were a conductor, he did not use huge gestures of the hands and arms,
but quiet, slow and soft movements that built up to the film’s climax

    I
caught myself saying "putang ina, ang ganda" several times, especially
when in a brief period of the film, roles were reversed and  George
(the playwright who was under surveilance) was watching the agent who
used to listen to his every move and conversation. This happened after
the Berlin Wall fell and he learned that this agent actually "saved"
him, so to speak.  George never confronted or asked him why he did what
he did. 

    And that last shot where the agent opened the book
written by this writer (a fulfillment of both their dreams, perhaps)
and read the acknowledgment (where the writer acknowledged him).  How
can you describe the effect of communication that never actually
happened but actually did? A bond was created indirectly.  Intrusion
bore respect for the other.  It was a strange feeling.  It was full of
ironies.  I felt the warmth of humanity through his (what I would call)
detached attachment to these artists.

    Naku, mana pala ako sa lolo
ko (who was said to exclaim, "putang ina, sinong nag-bake ng cake na
ito? ang sarap!" hindi ko na siya masyadong matandaan kasi napakabata
ko pa noon). One is predisposed to cursing when one experiences
something great.

    I had to rush to write this to just pour out the
feeling of being bestowed this aesthetic experience. Parang yun e–
watching it was not just seeing the film, but experiencing beauty.
Talagang overflowing ang feeling inside me.  I wish I could fashion the
words to capture the feeling and give justice to the film.  minsan
talaga hindi sapat ang mga salita.

pag sakay ko sa bus, ito ang nabasa kong karatula sa may pintuan nito.  makes you wonder… ano kaya ang mga nangyari bago naisipang ilagay ang karatulang ito?

Kung malabo, it says "Bawal sumakay ang mga kabit ng empleyado ng MGP TRANS (transit)."

here’s a hitback… something taken from my former apartment, with my former (and still current) housemate goofing around. ito yung time na uso pa ang SARS.

Another hitback!
This was taken
in 2002 or 2003
when the whole
family was in
Boracay.
Someone’s
marriage
proposal.
Inanod na kaya
ng alon? hehe.

Eto naman kami ng (mga) pasaway kong friends (di na nakita yung iba) noong nagpunta kami sa Tagaytay. di ba tayo nakakaintindi ng ingles?

here’s something unintentional i’m sure, but look at the juxtaposition of images.  may sale ng mga pulis! dali, pakyawan na!

sayang di ko dala camera ko noong may nakita akong mamang natutulog sa loob ng isang truck na may karatulang nakalagay na "government project. do not delay."

nadaig ng epekto ng kape ang pagtili namin ng housemate ko kanina. grabe ang palpitation ko! masyadong matapang kasi yung bubwit na mahilig umakyat at bumaba sa may lababo sa kusina. Arrrrggggh! Pero napansin lang namin ng housemate ko na pagkatapos naming tumili nang ilang beses, wala sa mga kapitbahay namin ang nag-check para alamin kung ano ang nangyayari. Ganun na ba ka-apathetic ang mga tao sa city? Kung sabagay, baka na-diferentiate na nila ang tili ng nakakita ng ipis sa tili ng nakakita ng bubwit at sa tili ng nakakita ng big rat (yan ang blood-curdling scream).

                                                                        q ( ^ < ^ ) p

Daddyism

yan ang title ko pag may kwento ako tungkol sa tatay ko. usually meant just for my sister, brother-in-law and me. pero minsan gusto ko lang i-compile at gawan ng tribute na libro ang aking daddy dearest.

anyway, one time napag-usapan ang tungkol sa tumataas na presyo ng electric bill. Sabi ng nanay ko, dapat raw talagang nuclear power plant na lang ang gamitin para mas tipid raw. Sabi ko paano pag nagka-malfunction at nagkaroon ng leak? Di rin naman daw tayo ligtas dahil andyan din ang Korea at Japan, may nuclear power plant rin ang neighboring countries. Pabiro kong sinabi, "at least mas malapit na kung dito, no?" Then dad chimed in with, "Homegrown!" Cute (those who know my dad can imagine how he would say that). Para bang kamote tops na pinatubo sa backyard. Parang jutes na binebenta nina Cheech and Chong.

                                                                         q ( ^ < ^ ) p

Papayag kaya kayong ipagiba ang UP shopping center? Ako ayaw ko… pero sana ayusin ang CR, ang mga tulo… pero I still love going to G.Miranda, I always have my photocopying services done there, and I still have some of clothes altered there. A friend said some bankers who were former UP students would still have their barongs made in that tailoring shop on the second floor of one of the stalls.

Di lang for sentimental reasons. Talagang mas mura. Mas at ease ako doon.

But one of my favorite places there would still be Rodic’s.

Ang tagal ko nang di kumakain doon, at medyo di na ko sanay na may maka-share-a-seat, so nanibago ako. Tapos yung naka-share-a-seat ko pa ay nag-order ng (sa pandinig ko ay) red wine. Ganun? Pero instantly naman pinaandar ko ang aking logical self. Red na "One" (iced tea) pala ang order niya, Red One lang kasi ang sinabi ng ka-table ko noon sa waiter.

click nyo to and get a kick out of watching this. si Brad Pitt nag-ilonggo sa Troy!

get a kick out of watching this video at magtatagpo na rin sina benjo at tonton if you follow the other links!

pag di lumitaw dito, eto ang link!

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matapos nating maaliw sa dancing inmates ng Cebu, eto naman ang pagtripan natin…

    Napanood ko na finally ang Burlesk Queen, the original version kung saan andoon si ate Vi, Rollie Quizon, Jonee Gamboa, Leopoldo Salcedo (ang gwapo ng matandang ito, sumalangit nawa…), Rosemarie Gil, et. al.  At bakit kung kelan bumili ng original (VCD nga lang kasi ang kopyang nabili ko noon) e saka pa bitin ang ending?  Sa tagal na noong nabili ko ito ewan ko kung puwede ko pa itong isauli.  Anyway, I was waiting for the famous ending — where Chato (the burlesque queen) bleeds and where Canuplin, et.al. walk away… I remember the image but I never saw how it built up to that point.  sometimes it’s not enough to just know the context.

    Pero napatawa ako sa isang part ng pelikula.  At some point the band of Rollie Quizon was introduced.  Their name?  The Gay Rockers.  Napahalakhak ako!

                                                    q ( ^ L ^ ) p                                  

    I wonder if you always use the T-9 dictionary of the celphone.  Yung predictive texting.  You have to be careful, though. When I was looking for blood donors, what came out at first was "alone" donors.  So napa-"Huh?" ang napadalhan ko ng text.   Try pressing the keys to spell the word using predictive texting (yung naka-underline ang abc) then you’ll find that other words are spelled using these same keys (talagang walang magawa pag may sakit).  So pressing the ff. numbers on your keypad:  3-6-6-3 may produce "food" or "done" (just press the asterisk key or * to change selection). It could be really strange sometimes, because some of these words seem to relate to each other or some are opposites… although I forgot which words really got me laughing.  So be careful.
food = done
reject = select
honor = goons
germ = hero
trial = trick
funny = dummy
so when you text someone, "Please select him," you might end up sending "please reject him" or when you text "you’re funny" make sure it’s not "you’re dummy."
Or you could always switch to the good ol’ abbreviated texting.

                                               q ( ^ L ^ ) p               

    may undesirable words ba sa cellphone?  Or am I being overly dramatic by saying "there’s censorship in cellphones!"  Bakit wala sa dictionary nito ang "shit," "crap," and the F word.  merong "fart" or maybe I just added it there. hehe…

                                                       q ( ^ L ^ ) p   

    Yehey for NU 107’s Crossroads, one of my favorite blues and rock-n-roll radio programs (every Tuesday 9 pm).  They featured songs from Woodstock.  It’s the great music festival’s 38th anniversary.  I sometimes feel like my soul belonged to the era.  I just loved hearing Hendrix (kabirthday ko), Janis Joplin, The Who, Crosby Stills Nash’s version of Joni MItchell’s "Woodstock" and augh! there are too many to mention.  I heard the DJ say there were 216 songs sang (or was it  261) during that 3-day happening.   I keep watching the documentary and I cry sometimes seeing how awesome awesome it was.  Haaay…

                                                  q ( ^ L ^ ) p   

    Na-guest noon si Roger Daltrey ng The Who sa CSI.  I guess The Who is a favorite of the show’s creators.  They use their songs in the series ("Who are You" in the first CSI set in Las Vegas and "Baba O’Reiley" in CSI:NY), so I guess they got a kick out of guesting Daltrey himself.  I loved listening to The Who.  I guess I love British (or that side of the world) rock more than American rock.  But then, saka na nga talaga ang tungkol diyan.

         q ( ^ L ^ ) p