blueswoman’s blues

    I’ve just seen a film that made me weep, not because it’s a weepy movie
(the way that chick flicks like "Beaches" made women friends cry), but
because it was so beautifully done that it made me weep.  Beautiful
music affects me in the same way, as if it fills my soul and heightens
my passion for art.  This film truly filled me to the brim. 

    I’m
referring to "Lives of Others."  I didn’t want to write the synopsis
because I want to stay with this feeling… but anyway, it is about a
national security agent in East Germany who was made to conduct
surveillance on a playwright, an artist who is considered right-wing (a
liberal or leaning toward the West).  But his wiretapping activities
transformed him and reversed him — not in a grand dramatic way. As he
listened into the life of this artist and his actress-wife, he too
consumed the art that they created, vicariously lived the passion they
felt for each other and for their art and secretly aligned himself with
their beliefs.  From being a hard-core socialist who saw betrayal in
any artist who leaned toward the West, to a compassionate man (yet
outwardly cold and restrained) who risked his career to save what
remains of the artists’ restricted lives. 

    If the filmmaker
were a conductor, he did not use huge gestures of the hands and arms,
but quiet, slow and soft movements that built up to the film’s climax

    I
caught myself saying "putang ina, ang ganda" several times, especially
when in a brief period of the film, roles were reversed and  George
(the playwright who was under surveilance) was watching the agent who
used to listen to his every move and conversation. This happened after
the Berlin Wall fell and he learned that this agent actually "saved"
him, so to speak.  George never confronted or asked him why he did what
he did. 

    And that last shot where the agent opened the book
written by this writer (a fulfillment of both their dreams, perhaps)
and read the acknowledgment (where the writer acknowledged him).  How
can you describe the effect of communication that never actually
happened but actually did? A bond was created indirectly.  Intrusion
bore respect for the other.  It was a strange feeling.  It was full of
ironies.  I felt the warmth of humanity through his (what I would call)
detached attachment to these artists.

    Naku, mana pala ako sa lolo
ko (who was said to exclaim, "putang ina, sinong nag-bake ng cake na
ito? ang sarap!" hindi ko na siya masyadong matandaan kasi napakabata
ko pa noon). One is predisposed to cursing when one experiences
something great.

    I had to rush to write this to just pour out the
feeling of being bestowed this aesthetic experience. Parang yun e–
watching it was not just seeing the film, but experiencing beauty.
Talagang overflowing ang feeling inside me.  I wish I could fashion the
words to capture the feeling and give justice to the film.  minsan
talaga hindi sapat ang mga salita.

pag sakay ko sa bus, ito ang nabasa kong karatula sa may pintuan nito.  makes you wonder… ano kaya ang mga nangyari bago naisipang ilagay ang karatulang ito?

Kung malabo, it says "Bawal sumakay ang mga kabit ng empleyado ng MGP TRANS (transit)."

here’s a hitback… something taken from my former apartment, with my former (and still current) housemate goofing around. ito yung time na uso pa ang SARS.

Another hitback!
This was taken
in 2002 or 2003
when the whole
family was in
Boracay.
Someone’s
marriage
proposal.
Inanod na kaya
ng alon? hehe.

Eto naman kami ng (mga) pasaway kong friends (di na nakita yung iba) noong nagpunta kami sa Tagaytay. di ba tayo nakakaintindi ng ingles?

here’s something unintentional i’m sure, but look at the juxtaposition of images.  may sale ng mga pulis! dali, pakyawan na!

sayang di ko dala camera ko noong may nakita akong mamang natutulog sa loob ng isang truck na may karatulang nakalagay na "government project. do not delay."

nadaig ng epekto ng kape ang pagtili namin ng housemate ko kanina. grabe ang palpitation ko! masyadong matapang kasi yung bubwit na mahilig umakyat at bumaba sa may lababo sa kusina. Arrrrggggh! Pero napansin lang namin ng housemate ko na pagkatapos naming tumili nang ilang beses, wala sa mga kapitbahay namin ang nag-check para alamin kung ano ang nangyayari. Ganun na ba ka-apathetic ang mga tao sa city? Kung sabagay, baka na-diferentiate na nila ang tili ng nakakita ng ipis sa tili ng nakakita ng bubwit at sa tili ng nakakita ng big rat (yan ang blood-curdling scream).

                                                                        q ( ^ < ^ ) p

Daddyism

yan ang title ko pag may kwento ako tungkol sa tatay ko. usually meant just for my sister, brother-in-law and me. pero minsan gusto ko lang i-compile at gawan ng tribute na libro ang aking daddy dearest.

anyway, one time napag-usapan ang tungkol sa tumataas na presyo ng electric bill. Sabi ng nanay ko, dapat raw talagang nuclear power plant na lang ang gamitin para mas tipid raw. Sabi ko paano pag nagka-malfunction at nagkaroon ng leak? Di rin naman daw tayo ligtas dahil andyan din ang Korea at Japan, may nuclear power plant rin ang neighboring countries. Pabiro kong sinabi, "at least mas malapit na kung dito, no?" Then dad chimed in with, "Homegrown!" Cute (those who know my dad can imagine how he would say that). Para bang kamote tops na pinatubo sa backyard. Parang jutes na binebenta nina Cheech and Chong.

                                                                         q ( ^ < ^ ) p

Papayag kaya kayong ipagiba ang UP shopping center? Ako ayaw ko… pero sana ayusin ang CR, ang mga tulo… pero I still love going to G.Miranda, I always have my photocopying services done there, and I still have some of clothes altered there. A friend said some bankers who were former UP students would still have their barongs made in that tailoring shop on the second floor of one of the stalls.

Di lang for sentimental reasons. Talagang mas mura. Mas at ease ako doon.

But one of my favorite places there would still be Rodic’s.

Ang tagal ko nang di kumakain doon, at medyo di na ko sanay na may maka-share-a-seat, so nanibago ako. Tapos yung naka-share-a-seat ko pa ay nag-order ng (sa pandinig ko ay) red wine. Ganun? Pero instantly naman pinaandar ko ang aking logical self. Red na "One" (iced tea) pala ang order niya, Red One lang kasi ang sinabi ng ka-table ko noon sa waiter.